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Dating Again
So… I was 19 the last time I went on a first date—and now I’m 31, a single mom, and apparently expected to know what “vibes” mean and how to flirt via emoji. Spoiler: I did not. This section is for anyone who’s ever re-entered the dating scene with no map, no clue, and possibly a stale chicken nugget in their purse. From awkward first dates to figuring out what I actually want (and don’t), this is the honest, slightly chaotic journey of learning to date again—with humor, humility, and maybe just
Your life's not a book, you idiot.
The First Date The first date with Book Boyfriend was magic. He chose a table near a heater so I would be warm. He touched my hand. He made me laugh. He was handsome. The first date was magic. Wasn’t it? Well… he did seem a little uneasy at times. His eyes were shifting a lot. I actually noted it at one point. “What do you keep looking at?” I said, smiling. He stopped then and his gaze found me again. “I just like to be aware of my surroundings,” he replied as he lifted his g
ascoves
Jan 234 min read
Take the chicken out of the freezer
But before we say goodbye... I like writing about falling in love. I have a harder time writing about the endings. I want to squeeze as many sweet moments and fond memories into the pages as I can before we say goodbye. I want to tell you about the full moon. Each month, Book Boyfriend and I would have a bonfire on the full moon. We would sit by the flames and enjoy a drink of hot cocoa, tea, or champagne. We would stay off our phones for the most part and simply be together.
ascoves
Jan 114 min read
2025
10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... “Happy New Year!” I raise my glass along with everyone else on the dance floor. The room is covered in glitter and champagne. My satin dress and fur coat glow under the disco ball, along with all the other gorgeous women dressed to the nines. For a split moment, time really does slow down with the start of a new year. A blur of smiles, alcohol spilling onto the floor, people kissing. Aw… people kissing. I want that. I want that every year, don
ascoves
Jan 35 min read
Buy Me Presents and Take Me on Adventures.
"Have you ever heard of the Five Love Languages?" I ask Book Boyfriend one day while sprinkling sumac on his rice. ( Sumac on rice is really good, by the way. You should try it. ) “I think so, but I don’t remember what they are. Remind me.” He is wearing a pale blue shirt today. I love when he wears this shirt. Blue makes his olive toned skin look even darker. The shirt hugs his biceps as I watch him cut vegetables for dinner. I am distracted for a moment as my eyes take him
ascoves
Dec 18, 20255 min read
Thanksgiving
Ouch. My heart is being pulled in too many directions, none of them good. Thanksgiving 2021 Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. My husband and I are already dressed in our cozy sweaters, sinking into the sofa of my in-laws’ house. We are each holding giant mugs of coffee. The house smells like a lovely combination of vanilla Coffee-mate, stuffing, and pumpkin pie. If I could bottle any scent and turn it into a candle, it would be this one. PJ is two. We are trying to get him
ascoves
Nov 26, 20255 min read
Just the three of us?
See you tomorrow. Book Boyfriend and my son did not see each other the next day (much to PJ’s disappointment). But they did see each other again. And the next time, they were both slightly more comfortable. PJ showed him more of his toys. Book Boyfriend pretended to find them interesting, telling me later, in private, that some of them were "actually pretty cool." As time passed, they became comfortable with each other. PJ grew used to his shiny red car pulling into the drive
ascoves
Nov 22, 20252 min read
See you tomorrow
“Is that Daddy?” Those three words broke my heart. “No, baby. Daddy’s at his house. Mommy just has a friend over. I’m so sorry if we woke you up,” I whisper, rubbing his back. He’s lying in his race car bed wearing red and white striped pajamas, looking like a little candy cane. Book Boyfriend is downstairs on the couch. PJ must have heard a man’s voice and assumed. “Why don’t you try to go back to sleep, sweetie?” I say, kissing his temple. To my surprise, he shoots upright
ascoves
Nov 6, 20253 min read
I Stay.
"I was wondering what took so long." I told him I loved him. He made a joke. Eh… could be worse, right? At least he didn’t say, “ We are just friends ,” or “ I don’t like you at all. ” There’s a part of me that appreciated his response. If there was one thing I knew about Book Boyfriend, he wasn’t going to say something unless he meant it. That was a small kindness, I think. Maybe he feels it and just can’t say it? Maybe he doesn’t feel it? Maybe he's scared? Maybe my life is
ascoves
Nov 6, 20253 min read
I'm gonna tell him.
Warm Milk "My s ister is like my best friend,” I explain to Book Boyfriend one night over dinner. We’re sitting at the bar, enjoying pasta and espresso martinis. I secretly love when there aren’t any tables and we have to sit at the bar because it’s an excuse to be closer to him. I get rewarded with the feeling of his fingers brushing the back of my neck or his shoulder grazing mine. Small jolts of electricity each time, traveling all the way down to my fingertips. We’re talk
ascoves
Oct 22, 20254 min read
Love Triangle?
Team Mario or Team Book Boyfriend I left the date with Mario feeling hopeful and excited. Okay, maybe there are other men in the world aside from my ex-husband and Book Boyfriend. Who knew? The next morning I woke up to two "Good Morning" texts. Oh...this is weird. I respond to each of them and all of a sudden feel a tiny bit sick to my stomach. How do people date more than one person? What if I accidentally text the wrong one? How will I find time to date them, work full-tim
ascoves
Oct 19, 20254 min read
It's ah me...Mario!
The Prologue It’s been a while… Now, where were we? Oh yes...I was tragically falling in love with my situationship. We still hadn’t decided to be monogamous, so naturally, I felt the butterflies in my stomach, the heat in my cheeks, and all I saw were danger signs. Maybe it’s time to get back on those dating apps. After all, you can’t fall in love with Book Boyfriend. It won’t work. You just need a distraction, a reminder that there are other good guys out there. Yeah, put y
ascoves
Sep 8, 20253 min read
Did you feel that?
This House The house smells like cardboard boxes. The hallways are filled with the sounds of tape ripping and bubble wrap popping. I’m...
ascoves
Aug 13, 20254 min read
A Day in the Life
Doom Scrolling We all do it, don't we? We promise ourselves not to look at our phones before bed, insist it will only be five more...
ascoves
Jul 9, 20255 min read
A Series of Love Stories
Things with Book Boyfriend are going well. Really really well. But first... Wine, Walking Pads, and a Knock at the Door The first week my...
ascoves
Jun 25, 20254 min read
Onions have layers. I have an onion.
What are we? I'm finding it really difficult keep things "casual" with Book Boyfriend. Almost every other month, I try to have the "what...
ascoves
Jun 21, 20255 min read
It is casual now? (Book Boyfriend: Chapter 3)
A series of unfortunate events After two unsuccessful dates and a failed attempt at "Playing the Field," I've decided it's definitely...
ascoves
Jun 14, 20254 min read
Creepy Calvin
(All names of men I dated have been changed to respect their privacy.) Swipe Right I'm starting to get the hang of this dating app thing....
ascoves
Jun 7, 20255 min read
I had a bad date!!! (An evening with The Doc)
Playing the field Alright, fine... I do have a little crush on Book Boyfriend. Yes, he has big arms, he's charming, funny, and even...
ascoves
May 31, 20254 min read
The Magic Trick That Should Have Ended the Date...But Didn't
If first dates are scary, second ones are terrifying Book Boyfriend invited me to his place. Oh no... I can't go to a boy's house! (Even...
ascoves
May 15, 20253 min read
Dating: My Book Boyfriend
He's the man from all my fantasy books The first time his picture appeared on my iPhone's small screen, I was immediately intrigued. If...
ascoves
May 15, 20254 min read
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