The Magic Trick That Should Have Ended the Date...But Didn't

If first dates are scary, second ones are terrifying

Book Boyfriend invited me to his place. Oh no... I can't go to a boy's house! (Even though I'm 31... still!) He mentioned we would watch a movie, but I had heard about "Netflix and Chill" and I wasn't prepared for that. I must have asked him a million times if we were really just watching a movie. He reassured me there were no expectations and that he wasn't a serial killer. Well, that's a relief. I wasn't quite sure what to wear to a guy's house or a "man's house," as he kept correcting me. I finally chose a black t-shirt with blue jeans and straightened my hair this time. (Had to keep him guessing.) I decided to stop at Whole Foods for some movie snacks. It seemed like a nice gesture and gave me a few extra minutes browsing the grocery store aisles to decide if I was actually going to go through with this. After leaving with a bag full of chips and "healthy" pizza rolls, I gathered the courage to drive to his apartment. I entered his address into my GPS and drove the route for the first time. Little did I know how familiar that route would become to me.

Netflix and...magic?

I lingered in the apartment parking lot for quite some time before finally texting him to say I'd arrived. He met me at my car to escort me up to his place. He was dressed in gray sweatpants and a t-shirt. (Alright, good... I think I chose the right outfit for a movie date at a boy's house) When he opened his apartment door, I had to stifle a laugh. This incredibly intimidating man seemed much less daunting with a sink full of dishes and clothes strewn across the floor. Typical guy, typical messy apartment. He looked a bit embarrassed as he apologized for the mess and eagerly pointed out the candle on the counter, "I know it's messy in here... but look, I lit a candle just for you." Well...that was adorable. There were only two seating options in his apartment, his desk chair or his bed. I opted for the desk chair. He indulged me for a while, standing in his office with me as we chatted about our days and went over the snacks I brought.

After a while, he suggested we head to his bedroom to choose a movie (the only TV was in his room). Once inside, I nervously perched on the edge of his bed. Sensing my unease, he chose to remain standing. That's when I had a brilliant idea to lighten the mood. On our first date, I had mentioned that I picked up a few magic tricks as a hobby in 7th grade. (I was very cool.) Without considering how a 35-year-old man might react to this, I eagerly said, "Sit on the bed. I have a surprise for you." Now... I’m not sure what he expected after that, but I doubt he anticipated what followed. He joined me on the bed, and I pulled out a deck of Disney princess playing cards from my purse and performed a two-trick magic show for him, complete with characters and voices. To my surprise, Book Boyfriend was completely engaged. He smiled, listened intently, and even "ooo" and "aaaah"d at all the right moments. It didn't hit me how odd it was to perform a magic trick on a man's bed on a second date until he said, "Well... that was a first." Embarrassed but amused, I replied, "Really? Lucky you." He agreed.

Pizza in bed

We spent another hour or two after that talking in his bed. He shared amusing tales from his rebellious middle school days, and I laughed. He ordered pizza and poured us each a glass (or two) of red wine. Eventually, he did put on a movie, though we talked through most of it. I'm not sure what Book Boyfriend expected, but we didn't sleep together that night. I was still uncertain about what was normal in the dating world. Was I supposed to sleep with him? What is considered proper etiquette when at a man's house? I had only been intimate with one person before this and didn't feel ready to do that with someone else. Feeling a bit unsure towards the end of the date, I apologized for not sleeping with him. He laughed and said, "It's okay. You brought snacks...and magic."