The Divorce Glow-Up: Abs after "I don't."

Poor thing!

Does she have an eating disorder? This breakup really affected her! Could she be on drugs? These were some of the assumptions I heard about myself after I announced my divorce online and shared some selfies. Like many women dealing with a breakup, I needed to channel my intense emotions into something new. For me, this meant taking my exercise and nutrition seriously. Interestingly, I had already lost about 55 pounds before separating from my ex-husband. But, of course, on social media, the tragic story of a woman who stopped eating after her divorce seemed more captivating than that of a married woman exercising and eating well. So...here we are. I do believe I had a "divorce glow-up," but I want to clarify that I was glowing up long before we split. The real transformation wasn't about wanting a "revenge body" or showing him what he was missing. It was about wanting to look good and be healthier for my son.

That being said, after we split I did have a lot more motivation to take care of myself. Why is that? Well...dating apps! I had never considered myself a product to be sold online or an object until I entered the dating app scene for the first time at 31 years old. Suddenly, my picture (my advertisement) would be a key factor in not only whether a man would consider dating me, but if he would even consider talking to me! With this realization came the truth that I was not the only "product" these men were looking to buy. I was most likely being compared to younger and hotter models. (Models in their 20s who didn't have any babies) I began hitting the gym even harder. It was time to get it together and keep it tight. Now, let's be clear about something: comparison is the thief of joy, and for a while, my motivation was less than healthy. I do recognize that I offer WAY more than my physical appearance to a man, and the real glow-up starts internally. More on that transformation coming soon. But for now... did I develop an eating disorder? No. But, did I get hotter after my divorce? Well... Yes!

Weight loss tips and tricks!

Workouts

1. Start slow! Don't put yourself on a crazy calorie deficit or start working out 2 hours every day. This will create burnout quickly, and you will most likely quit.

   
   

2. Move your body every single day for at least a month with no rest days. Depending on your current activity level and lifestyle, this can be anything from weight lifting at the gym, walking outside, or doing YouTube workout videos at home. This will teach your brain to make physical activity a daily priority. It will start to become habitual, like brushing your teeth.

   
   

3. Pick a plan that you will be able to realistically stick to and that you enjoy. Once those initial 30 days are over, you should have a better idea of what workouts you enjoy. Examples include:

   1. Weight lifting, body recomp plan for 8 weeks

   2. Pilates for 8 weeks

   3. Walking/running for 8 weeks

   4. HIIT for 8 weeks

   5. At-home workouts (Shameless plug: I lost the vast majority of my weight using the BODI app. More info on that coming soon!)

   6. Once you find a workout you like, challenge yourself by sticking to it for 8 weeks before switching to a new program. You can now incorporate rest days. I usually work out 5-6 days a week with rest days on the weekends, but everyone's body is different. Do what's best for you!

   
   

4. Weigh yourself every morning. This is not to stress you out or make you feel bad if the scale isn't moving in the direction you want it to right away. Remember, muscle weighs more than fat. You may gain weight and still drop a jean size. However, a daily weigh-in will serve to keep you on track and motivated. (If you notice this practice is harmful to your mental health/body image, stop!)

   
   

5. Celebrate small victories! Depending on how much weight you want to lose, give yourself treats throughout the weight loss journey that have nothing to do with food. For example, after losing 5 pounds buy a piece of jewelry for yourself, after 10 pounds buy a new workout outfit, after 15 buy a brand new outfit, etc.

Diet

1. No fad diets. Unless you plan on cutting out gluten forever or remaining keto, don't do this. You may initially lose weight, but you will struggle to keep it off when these foods are reintroduced unless you are incredibly disciplined. It may also give you some negative associations with certain foods which can lead to eating disorders.

   
   

2. No cheat days. Instead, opt for "cheat moments" 1-3 times a week. This can be a meal like pizza on Fridays or a sweet treat like your favorite cookies on a Sunday afternoon. Keep it clean for most of the day, but allow yourself 1-3 indulgences every week. These can be ANYTHING!

   
   

3. Clean eating 80/20. Try to keep your diet clean 80% of the week and eat whatever you want 20% of the week.

   1. What is Clean Eating?

      1. Whole foods

      2. Anything unprocessed

      3. Lean meats (turkey, chicken)

      4. Red meat (in moderation)

      5. Vegetables

      6. Fruits

      7. Healthy fats (avocado, nuts, cheese)

      8. Complex Carbs. Carbs are not your enemy! They give you energy, which you're going to need for all these workouts. (sweet potatoes, whole grains, beans, etc.)

   
   

4. Cook at home when you can. Chances are if you are cooking at home, you are eating fewer calories than going out. For example, the average calories for a cheeseburger cooked at home is 450-650 calories. At a restaurant, the average is 800-1,200+. You can still eat your favorite foods, just make the healthier versions at home.

   
   

5. Hit your protein goals! I know everyone is talking about protein right now, but they aren't wrong. Tracking your macros, especially protein, can be really beneficial for achieving your dream body. Play around with what number is best for you. For me, it was a gram of protein per my goal body weight. For example, if my goal weight is 130, I will try to eat 130g of protein every day. I will link some of my favorite over-the-counter protein snacks in the "Sweat & Snacks" tab coming soon!

   
   

6. Be kind to yourself. There are days you planned to work out and you won't. There are days you planned to cook a healthy dinner and ate McDonald's instead. It's okay. Don't punish yourself by doing a super hard workout the next day or eating less. Just enjoy the rest/food and get back on track the next day.

   
   

7. Love yourself throughout the weight loss journey. If you are starting at 190 and you want to be 150, don't wait until you reach your goal weight to love your body. Take those mirror selfies at 180. Wear a cute outfit at 165. Enjoy your body throughout the entire process to shift your mindset from "I will only like myself when I reach my goal weight" to "Look at how hard I am working and how beautiful I am" throughout. You also may surprise yourself and find that your goal was 130 but you love your body at 140. The number isn't everything! You got this!